NationalVolume 14 Issue # 18

Withering family bonds

Only the feet know the depth of the sea, watching eyes are spectators, they may want it to know the feelings, but can never sense the reality in their capacity. That is why the experience rises above knowledge and age. Time ripens a person in the true sense. The questions which create a big mess at an early age can easily be answered in later stages and the answers are more comprehensive, more competent and more extensive.

The plot of a family’s stories vary from wall to wall, class to class, place to place, but the major pillars are similar they all need a surface to stand upon, they all carry roof upon their heads. One may have heard many kinds of messy stories and fears, they all are wandering for their solutions and solutions are identical, no matter where they belong to. Most of us are difficulty lovers; feeling pleasure in misery, and leave the issues unattended, so the misery travels through races as a right of the title.

Many women approached lawyers for divorce; some usually linger the mater on to provide them the maximum time to review their decision, but all who came for divorce, got it. If their background is studied, one common thing in all families was their parents or parent (if single or not) being negligent, responsible and introvert, so the crashes during their childhood never left their marks from their mind. Now, they scan the world through their wounded soul. The burning question is; why the persons, after being parents, pursue some other goals instead of their children and how can they settle priorities while separating their children. Most neglected children are the usual victims of abuse and extremism. Even after passing a long journey of their life, they can never comprehend a true face of faithfulness and sacrifice. They muddle all basic concepts; doing, making and erasing, thinking and rethinking, going ahead one step and back ten times deciding and revoking, confronting and confusing at every crossroad. It’s not an easy task to find a normal-minded person in our society. The family’s setup is seriously plagued and damaged inside and it’s not easy for every member to save the skin from being hurt. Whether the child is male or female, even the intelligent can’t manage to escape and surprisingly, intelligent children could turn into aliens and becomes dangerous after facing abnormalities in their parents’ personalities. The whole family setup depends upon the balanced temperament of parents, like the system of the universe, which has traveled a successful journey on equilibrium and in divorce cases; ultimately the children have to pay throughout their life. They surrender choices one by one. First of all, the judge asks the children, who do you want to live with? They look on both sides, clutch their mother’s hand, call their father and after a decision in favor of one, they shriek for the other one and that shriek never let them sleep at nights, never let them laugh heartedly at events like birthdays, festivals and any celebrations. They now face a lack of a true shelter and live at the mercy of society and they
are victims and easy prey for their poor, complexed, ignorant relations, close friends of their parents, neighbours, and strangers. Now, they scream for money, safety, food and at the loss of chastity. Their pick and drop from school, school fee, and other necessities are every day’s questions and many children are forced to leave school and serve their relatives, they are living with. The first step their relatives usually take is to usurp their property and bank accounts, if any, and start counting every spoon of feeding and blame them for any loss in utility bills. Now, they are culprits for any misfortune and loss at their home. They cannot claim their property, like toys, dresses, shoes, stationery, books and anything they have inherited through their parents. The parentless children are not even liked to be seen smiling or cheering at someone or something. They are not supposed to feel the weather, like rain in summer, and who they are to eye the full moon in summer nights? They should not walk around with their frail legs. This is how and much more than this, life goes on, drop by drop.

One can observe such families with close quarters and all responsibilities rest upon both parents who should sacrifice their will to save their children although sacrifice and devotion is not a matter of a click, it returns with immeasurable and inconceivable blessings in life and afterward. This is Allah’s promise to this mankind.